The Top 13 Things on a
Y2K Survivalist's To-Do List

January 2000

13.  Find grocery store receipt for 10,000 packets of ramen noodles.

12.  Apologize to neighbors about the tripwire incident; offer to replace dog. 

11. Gather recipes for Spam, dehydrated potatoes, and crow.

10. Cancel subscription to Stockpilers Quarterly, but keep the free can opener.

9. Convert weapons back to semi-auto.  

 8.  Pitch "1000 Ideas for Wheat Gluten" to Martha Stewart's people.  

 7.  Return 753 videos to Blockbuster.  

 6. Water yard, one lousy gallon at a time.  

 5.  Prepare for the dreaded but little-known "Arbor Day Bug."  

 4. Learn how to disarm a Claymore mine.   

  3.  Laugh at all those losers out there fighting each other for scraps of food, and thank the Lord for the safety of the bunker, cut off from all connection with the outside world.

  2.  Find the guy who sold me all that dehydrated water.

 Number 1 Thing on a Y2K Survivalist's To-Do List...

  1. Make friends with the 6 billion other Y2K survivors.  

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