Resume Bloopers

These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:

1) I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.

2) I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.

3) Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

4) Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

5) Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

6) Its best for employers that I not work with people.

7) Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.

8) You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.

9) Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

10) I was working for my Mom until she decided to move.

11) Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

12) Marital status: Single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No Commitments.

13) I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.

14) I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.

15) I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.