The New York Times reports that the following list is being passed 
around in Washington, DC:

Lord's Prayer: 56 words
23rd Psalm: 118 words
Gettysburg Address: 226 words
Ten Commandments: 297 words
U.S. Department of Agriculture order on the price of 
      cabbage: 15,629 words.


The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to 
love our enemies; probably because they are generally 
the same people.



During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary 
rushed in shouting, 'The building is on fire!'

The METHODISTS gathered in the corner and prayed
The BAPTISTS cried, "Where is the water?"
The QUAKERS quietly praised God for the blessings 
      that fire brings
The LUTHERANS posted a notice on the door 
      declaring the fire was evil
The ROMAN CATHOLICS passed a collection plate 
      to cover the damage
The JEWS posted symbols on the doors hoping 
      that the fire would pass
The CONGREGATIONALISTS shouted, "Everyone 
      for themselves"
The FUNDAMENTALISTS proclaimed, "It's the 
      vengeance of God"
The CHRISTIAN SCIENTISTS concluded that 
      there wasn't a fire
The PRESBYTERIANS appointed a chairperson 
      who was to appoint a committee to look into the 
      matter and make a written report and 
the EPISCOPALIANS formed a procession and marched 
       out...and the secretary grabbed a fire extinguisher and 
       put the fire out!


Here's a lovely line from Archbishop William Temple:
I believe in one, holy, infallible Church, of  which at 
the present time, I regret to say, I am the only member.


Definition: Death - to stop sinning, suddenly.


Can anyone tell me, if Jesus were a carpenter today, 
would he have a mobile phone?

The story is told of Elizabeth, Queen of Belgium, that 
once while in Warsaw she asked a government 
official who was assigned to take her to mass 
whether he was a Roman Catholic.  He replied 
"Believing but not practicing."  Opined Elizabeth, 
"Then you must be a communist."  Replied the 
official, "Practicing but not believing."


That one reminds me of a story told by a woman 
I used to know.  Barbara was teaching History of 
Music at a small school in the South.  One term 
when she taught a class that covered the history 
of Western European music up to AD 1500. a 
number of her students went to the dean and 
protested against her "prejudices" because she 
discussed so much Catholic music, and omitted 
Protestant music entirely...