QUOTABLE
QUOTES
- A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't
need it. -- Bob Hope
- I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow
man, and I hate people like that! -- Tom Lehrer
- I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking,"
and then I thought: What good would that do? -- Ronnie Shakes
- It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive
and probing when every 12 minutes
one is
interrupted by dancing rabbits singing about toilet
paper. --Rod Serling
Somewhere on this globe, every 10 seconds, there is a woman giving birth
to a child. She must be found and stopped. --Sam Levenson (1911-1980)
Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done.
-- Ernie Kovacs
Always remember this: If you don't attend the funerals of your friends,
they will certainly not attend yours. -- H.L.
Mencken
A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us
the truth about its author. -- G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936)
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the United
States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the 9 millimeter bullet.
-- Dave Barry
This isn't right. It isn't even wrong. -- Wolfgang Pauli, on
a paper submitted by a physicist colleague
Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the
toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money. --
Joey Bishop
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
-- Franklin P. Jones
Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now, blue-green meat, that's REALLY BAD for
you. --Tommy Smothers
When you go into court you are putting your fate into the
hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out
of jury duty. --Norm Crosby
The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends
thought I didn't exist. -- Aaron Machado
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going
to those places. -- Henny Youngman
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the
designated driver. -- Jay Leno
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or
lose. -- Darrin Weinberg
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life in
which you will be happy to hear that the phone
is for you. -- Fran Lebowitz
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
-- H.L. Mencken
It ain't so much the things you don't know that get you in trouble. It's
the things you know that just ain't so.--Artimus Ward, 1834-1867
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a
department store, and he asked for my autograph. -- Shirley Temple
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would
probably be Labor Day Weekend. -- Doug Lars
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