ODD SIGNS FROM ENGLAND

• IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs
• IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.
• IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
• OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
• QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
• NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
• IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.
• SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car
• NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
• MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
• ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)