Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: "The Gates of Heaven". Below that was a small cardboard sign which read:"Please use other entrance."
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On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and one farmer arrived at the
village church. The pastor said, "Well, I guess we won't have a service today."
The farmer replied: "Hey, if even only one cow shows up at feeding time, I feed
it." "You're right," replied the pastor and proceeded to do the whole
service just as he had planned. At the end he looked at the Farmer and said,
"well, what did you think?" The Farmer thought for just a minute and then
said, "Well, if I go out to feed the cows and only one shows up, I don't feed him the
whole load!"
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During a children's sermon, Pastor Larry Eisenberg asked the children what
"Amen" means. A little boy raised his hand and said: "It means
'Tha-tha-tha-that's all folks!' "
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A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order. His answer? "3,
6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7".
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I was at the beach with my children when my four-year-old son ran up to me, grabbed my
hand, and led me to the shore, where a sea gull lay dead in the sand. "Mommy, what
happened to him?" the little boy asked. "He died and went to Heaven,"
I replied. My son thought a moment and then said, "And God threw him back
down?"
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Bill Keane, creator of the Family Circus cartoon strip tells of a time when he was
penciling one of his cartoons and his son Jeffy said, "Daddy, how do you know what to
draw?" I said, "God tells me." Jeffy said "Then why do you keep
erasing parts of it?
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After the church service, a little boy told the pastor: "When I grow up, I'm going to
give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but
why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever
had."
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My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six-year-old
daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't
know what to say," she replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," my wife
said. Our daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I
invite all these people to dinner?
courtesy of Dave Dahl