Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on labor day.
Non-smoking area: If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
On a Maternity Room Door: "Push, Push, Push"
On a Front Door: Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.
Optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
Scientist's Door: Gone Fission.
Taxidermist Window: We really know our stuff.
Podiatrist's Window: Time wounds all heels.
Butcher's window: Let me meat your needs.
Sign on electricians truck: Let us remove your shorts.
Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition.
Sign on Fence: Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.
Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.
Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.
Hotel: "Help" We need inn - experienced people.!
courtesy of Mike Snyder