Collection from John Freeman

UPDATED October 30, 1997 
From: Ian_Ameline 

         No sense being pessimistic --
         It wouldn't work anyway.

>From lynne_marie_peterson/butler.butler@butlerintl.com

During the heat of the space race in the 1960's, the U.S. National
Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it needed a ball point pen
to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After
considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed
at a cost of about $1 million U.S. The pen worked and also enjoyed some
modest success as a novelty item back here on Earth. The Soviet Union,
faced with the same problem, used a pencil.

On a tombstone:  "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"

If this is coffee,
please bring me some tea;
but if this is tea,
please bring me some coffee.

           -Abraham Lincoln


Always avoid and eschew pleonastic redundancy.

October 15, 1997

This is from a book called Wisdom From The Walls by Kristen Kammerer and Bridget Snyder. They compiled some really great graffiti, and here it is: 

Beauty is only a light switch away.
  - Perkins Library. Duke University. Durham, North Carolina.

I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
  - Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.
 
If Clinton were captain of the Titanic, he'd say we were stopping for ice.
  - Smoky Joe's. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Remember, it's not, 'How high are you?' it's 'Hi, how are you?'
  - Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.

Rome wasn't built in a day. That's because it was a government job.
  - Women's Restroom. City View Tavern. Cincinnati, Ohio.
 
To do is to be. - Descartes 
To be is to do. - Voltaire 
Do be do be do.  - Sinatra
  - Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona.

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
  - Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.

'Chris-Just remember that this dollar is not to be spent until
everything between us is over (completely). Please remember I love you!
-Tori'
  - On dollar bill F602225237.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
  - Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.
 
God is dead. - Nietzsche 
Nietzsche is dead. - God
  - The Tombs Restaurant. Washington, D.C.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
  - Revolution Books. New York, New York.

Golden Oldie

I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn't poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy. I was deprived. (Oh not deprived but rather underprivileged) Then they told me that underprivileged was overused. I was disadvantaged. I still don't have a dime. But I have a great vocabulary.
-Jules Feiffer
(1965)

There is two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
-Edith Wharton

A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours.

A Short History of Medicine

I have an earache: