These are actual excuse notes teachers have received, spelling mistakes included:
Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and
misplaced his hip.
John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size
she wear.
Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off
the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and
upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low
grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There
must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.