Fun Things to do in an Elevator


  1. Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.
  2. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
  3. Shave.
  4. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
  5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
  6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
  7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
  8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
  9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
  10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now... motion sickness!"
  11. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
  12. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
  13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
  14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
  15. Leave a box between the doors.
  16. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
  17. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
  18. Start a sing-a-long.
  19. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
  20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
  21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
  22. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
  23. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
  24. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

-courtesy of Neal Brantley

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