UPDATED November 9, 1997
- Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
- Deslexians of the world -- UNTIE.
- Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
UPDATED October 30, 1997
- "The Older I get... the better I was"
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
- It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
- Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
- I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
- Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
- Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
- OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
- Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
- Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
- Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
- Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
- Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
- We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things got worse.
- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
- There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
- Keep honking...I'm reloading
Submitted by: UltimateHi @ aol.com
UPDATED July 2, 1996 (contributed by Chuck Zimmerman)
Love thy neighbor, tune thy piano
I've been to the shop that sells bumper stickers
Save the chocolate moose!
I brake for brick walls
Welcome to Los Angeles now go home
I hate bumper stickers
Danger! I drive like you do
Speed Pays -- the doctor, the hospital, the mortuary
Illiterate? Write for free help.
Help Stamp Out Intolerance!
I'm not FOR apathy and I'm not AGAINST it.
I cannot be fired. Slaves have to be sold
I'm so poor, I can't even pay attention!
I love, I owe, so off to work I go.
On a well worn, ca 1967 Volkswagen: Driver Carries No Cash
UPDATED: January 29, 1997
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"
"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!"
"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."
"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
UPDATED: December 7, 1996
MY KARMA RAN OVER MY DOGMA.
TIME IS WHAT KEEPS THINGS FROM HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE
ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS THE PROBLEM DOESN'T EXIST.
I SMILE BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
WHY IS "ABBREVIATION" SUCH A LONG WORD?
EVER STOP TO THINK, AND FORGET TO START AGAIN?
DIPLOMACY IS THE ART OF SAYING "NICE DOGGIE!"...TILL YOU CAN FIND A ROCK.
I LIKE YOU BUT I WOULDN'T WANT TO SEE YOU WORKING WITH SUB-ATOMIC PARTICLES.
ESCHEW OBFUSCATION.
UPDATED: September 17, 1996
"Time is what keeps everything from happening at once."
Seen on an old, beat-up car: "This is not an abandoned vehicle."
"The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."
"Work is for people who don't know how to fish"
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."
"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."
"I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!"
"No Radio - Already Stolen"
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
"When there's a will, I want to be in it!"
"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!"
"Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control!"
"Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!"
"IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got. "
"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!" "
"Which came first? The woman or the department store?"
"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."
"Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have."
"i souport publik edukasion"
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
"More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks Roy, I'm stuffed!"
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Hard work has future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Conciousness: that annoying time between naps.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
All generalizations are false.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.