Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the 100GB
Bug.
As most people know, McDonald's restaurant signs show the number of hamburgers the giant
chain has sold. That number now stands at 99 billion burgers, or 99 Gigaburgers
(GB). Within months or even weeks, that number will roll over to 100GB.
McDonald's signs, however, were designed years ago, when the prospect of selling one
hundred billion hamburgers seemed unthinkably remote. So the signs have only two
decimal places.
This means that, after the sale of the 100 billionth burger, McDonald's signs will read
"00 Billion Burgers Sold." This, experts predict, will convince the public
that, in over thirty years, no McDonald's hamburgers have ever in fact been sold, causing
a complete collapse of consumer confidence in McDonald's products.
The ensuing catastrophic drop in sales is seen as almost certain to force the
already-troubled company into bankruptcy. This, in turn, will push the teetering
American economy over the brink, which, finally, will complete the total devastation of
the global economy, ending civilization as we know it, and forcing us all to live on
beetles.
"The people who know -- the sign-makers -- are really scared of 100GB", one
expert said. "I don't know about you, but I'm digging up a copy of THE FIELD
GUIDE TO NORTH AMERICAN INSECTS and heading for the hills."