THE GOOD OLD DAYS

The Washington Post Report had a contest a while ago, in which people were asked to tell Gen-Xers how much harder you had it in the old days. Here are some of the entries:

Runner-Up:

In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In the winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.

Bill Flavin, Alexandria

And the winner of the velour bicentennial poster:

In my day, we didn't have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.

Barry Blyveis, Columbia

Honorable Mentions:

In my day, we didn't get that disembodied, slightly ticked-off voice saying 'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the Silver Spring station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar.

Russell Beland, Springfield

In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.

Diana Hugue, Bowie

In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.

Jon Patrick Smith, Washington

When I was your age, we didn't have fake doggie-do. We only had real doggie-do, and no one thought it was a bit funny.

Brendan Bassett, Columbia

Back in the 1970s we didn't have the space shuttle to get all excited about. We had to settle for men walking on the moon.

Russell Beland, Springfield

In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.

Sarah M. Wolford, Hanover

In my day, we didn't have days. There was only time for work, time for prayer and time for sleep. The sheriff would go around and tell everyone when to change.

Elden Carnahan, Laurel

In my day, people could only dream of hitchhiking a ride on a comet.

David Ronka, Charlottesville

In my day, we didn't have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes drenched in melted fat from those animals. And we're all as strong as AAGGKK-GAAK Urrgh. Thud.

In my day, we didn't have Strom Thurmond. Oh, wait. Yes we did. Peg

Sheeran, Vienna

In my day, we wore our pants up around our armpits. Monstrous wedgies, but we looked snappy.

Bruce Evans, Washington

Back in my day, '60 Minutes' wasn't just a bunch of gray-haired liberal 80-year-old guys. It was a bunch of gray-haired liberal 60-year-old guys.

Russell Beland, Springfield, & Jerry Pannullo,